026 - Stop putting so much pressure on yourself!

I got talking with a client the other day—she approached me to help her layout and design her book. As I talked to her she was telling me about all the psychic mediums that told her she was supposed to be writing a book and she would be a bestseller. She told me that she knew she was supposed to be on stage speaking. It was as if she was me speaking 10 years ago. I sat in yoga classes and in meditation for years hearing much the same.

I put so much pressure on myself to achieve the lofty goal of writing a book—with the idea that it was my fate and aligned with the stars for some great purpose—so much pressure that almost didn’t write!

Hi Guys! Nicole Gabriel here. Welcome to todays show.

I have since learned that there are so many ways we are shown what the right path is and when we build up so much hoopla and energy to make a book a reality it becomes far more challenging than it really needs to be. 

When it really comes right down to it a book is simply our thoughts written in a journal and pasted between two boards that we open for public viewing. This is only going to be an insurmountable task if we aren’t in alignment with what we choose to expose. Because really…ultimately its up to us as authors to choose what we expose, right? We don’t have to write the expose tell-all book and there is no obligation to do so either. 

What we choose to write doesn’t have to be a chronological or historical sequence of events that led us up to this moment of clarity where we are contemplating the tell all book. We simply have to overcome the limiting beliefs or neigh-sayers telling us we are not good enough. We have to simply get up the courage to be a little vulnerable.

And the best way to conquer anything is to plow through it. Really, I believe the book to be that point where we have to step up and be accountable for our word…or words in this case. This is where we choose to be in integrity and we have to be ok with who we are presenting. I think the greatest fear is just overcoming the limiting beliefs that we may not always be perfect…but who is, right? 

When the book gets turned around from a memoire-style book and into a self-help book is when you can get over the idea that you are writing a book about you and more a book about helping others. By using your book as a guide with set principles about all the issues you’ve overcome you can flip-flop the focus from you to them. When you write your book using “you” instead of “I” you can begin adding stories about what you’ve overcome to challenge the reader to do something of the same. It makes the book relatable. It takes the pressure off of you. 

You are never going to be everything to everyone. Set some guidelines for yourself about what you hope to walk away with after you write your book. Is your goal to change one life? I know that was my goal when I wrote. My first book changed many lives. It got people thinking differently. It got me over a few hurdles too. 

As a practitioner of many spiritual and metaphysical disciplines I have learned that most people write a book for healing…at least their first book. And those that are no longer healing are writing to be heard, to shift thinking, to change something, to make people aware, to teach, coach, entertain or otherwise inform our audience. I will challenge you as an author to do a bit of both. Tell your personal story but also tell a relatable story and showcase how you came through the other side of whatever obstacles or limiting beliefs you’ve conquered. Readers love stories of triumph over failure but they also want a perceived value in return. How does this relate to me? 

You’ve been disciplined to do your work to triumph over something, to learn something, to grow from something, now it’s time to let go and relax into simply showcasing what you want to share with your reader with no attachment. “All I want to do is to change one life”…I hear that often from a new author. Set your goals, guidelines, and measurable as to why you are writing and align with those yes, but don’t think you have to write to meet Oprah or take the stage—that’s far too much pressure to put on yourself! 

New authors often loose sight of the thing they are after and the book becomes that one and only thing. There is always a belief that people will come rushing to you once you’ve written but the reality is that’s generally not the case. Don’t write and launch a book thinking it will get you noticed. You have to get you noticed then once you are you can share your book. Pull yourself from being dreamy and starry-eyed about fortune, fame, recognition, and accolades and bring yourself back to a disciplined reality with a focus on why you are writing and how it aligns with your personal and business life. A great quote to keep in mind:

“Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.”

What would be your ultimate goal with your book? If you got international attention would you only be selling a book? Or would you be selling a system, a program, a new way of living, or are you trying to create a movement? See, lots of authors want to achieve awards with books and see themselves getting on stage, but what is your platform? Why are you doing all this and what do you hope to get out of it? How can a book enhance your why?

I will leave you with this quote from Mark Twain:

“Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here”

Set your goals and write your plan for your book, then write your book to align. Stay focused on the business of your book, not your book as your business. Don’t get caught up and busy in your mind about success. Be smart, be practical, and stay focused and keep going and the pressure will fall off.

If you’d like to learn more, we’ve just updated our podcasts, blog, downloads, and take a peek over at our online book publishing program too! 

OK guys…until next time!